How many different types of overwhelm are there?

I got seven and counting ...

Have you ever been somewhere so beautiful it made you cry?

I was so absorbed, I didn’t hear the ticket inspector ask for my ticket. I was in absolute awe – and crying.

I quickly explained that it was because this was so beautiful.

I needed to find a way to cope. I know this sounds weird when talking about beautiful landscapes, but I started feeling really anxious. It was too much.

Trouble was, I couldn’t switch off the beauty. It was on both sides of the train and facing either direction.

And you know what? It was very gray. It was snowing. There wasn’t much of a view. Still, my entire body reacted.

A gray, snowy day on the Bernina route

This was the view for most of the trip. White and gray. But that was also the railway bridge we’d just driven across. How cool!

I was so happy that the weather wasn’t nicer. I don’t know what I would have done. I might have exploded.

Grounding myself kind of helped in the moment.

I was glad that my part of the train was not crowded because my emotional overwhelm would not have been helped with too much human interaction. I’d already thought it was too crowded when we had to change trains.

Next up was information overload. Of course I tried to memorize everything that was said. How many bridges and tunnels was that again?

Then there was linguistic overload. I was in the only Swiss canton with three official languages (a canton is like a state or province). And to make matters worse, Romansh comes in five very different regional varieties - four of which we encountered in short succession.

You notice that by paying very close attention to the train announcements. It’s little things like “proxima” vs. “prossima” or “sin” vs. “sun”.

My brain was in overdrive trying to spot these. And it’s as crazy as one town speaking one version and the next another one. I also know the Romansh voice on the train announcements. I used to work with her 😊.

As soon as we crossed into Italian-speaking territory the *is it still okay to speak German to people* panic set in. I’m very aware of how it feels for a linguistic minority when people just assume that they speak the majority language of their country.

Yet, to make matters worse my Italian is pretty much non-existent.

Then there was the fear of the unknown. As usual it was unfounded, but when has that ever stopped me?

I pressed the request stop button and the train actually stopped. Who knew pressing that button would actually work? I mean, it has never not worked for me, but there you go …

As you can see EVERYTHING was stressful at this point. We’re now about 3.5 hours into the most beautiful part of the journey. And we get off the train. New worries arise.

Did I check the schedules correctly and would I be able to see all those trains go over that viaduct? And would I even be able to find it?

I did – they even put up signs and stuff. It being part of a UNESCO World Heritage Site and all.

Also, it was visible from the station, and the valley is not all that wide 😉.

And breathe!

More on that viaduct to come in my On The Move With Evelyne newsletter – it needs to be written first though 😊.

Everything worked out fine and I got back on the train up to Poschiavo, grabbed some lunch and checked into my hotel.

That’s when the overwhelm really hit. It all felt too much. Too many impressions. Too many things to remember. Too many decisions to make.

Too much.

Then the church bells started ringing at 15.06. Totally random. It threw me enough to mention it to a friend. I like the predictability of church bells but these were ringing out of order.

I had a tough time falling asleep later that night. All the breathing, mindfulness, stretching, ice water and other hacks that usually work – useless.

I know they weren’t useless, but it felt like it.

The creaky floorboards and bed didn’t help either.

A hot shower managed to calm things down a bit as did some hot tea.

Positive feelings remain difficult. They overwhelm my nervous system quickly. Add to that the usual suspects and you have the perfect storm.

I don’t panic.

I notice it.

I acknowledge it.

I sit with it when/where possible.

Then I write about it.

It’s no longer scary but remains difficult – for now.

Writing this seems to have settled things now, I’m sure time also helped. Be gentle with yourselves.